Baby Squish Has Stolen My Ice Cream

So apparently, Squish is trying to ruin my life. Well, not Squish so much, but her (my?) placenta.

Like with Carys, I failed my one-hour gestational diabetes test by just a few points. Having been down that road once before, I wasn't entirely surprised to have failed it. However, I expected it to go similarly as it did last time: pass the three hour, no problem.   I actually felt BETTER this time, so I was sure I'd pass. Last time I felt faint and gross; this time I felt totally fine. Also, last time, Carys was measuring large the entire pregnancy; this time, the baby has been pretty average (I think 56th at the last growth scan?).  I think overall I've been eating healthier, too. I don't follow the BEST diet, by far, but it's not completely terrible.

But this time I didn't pass the three-hour. I failed. I FAILED AT A TEST THAT ALLOWS ME TO EAT ICE CREAM.  I FAILED A TEST THAT TAKES AWAY ALL THE GOODNESS JUST BEFORE HALLOWEEN AND THANKSGIVING. I am not a happy camper. Come Halloween, you'll be able to find me hiding from snack-size Reese's and M&Ms and Snickers under the bed. When Thanksgiving rolls around, I'll be spending the day in Canada, away from all the pumpkin and apple pies and, sob, whipped cream.

Of all the times to discover you have gestational diabetes, just before the holidays has to be the worst.

I had a two-year-old yelling in my ear when the doctor's office called with the results, but the gist of it appears to be that my pre-drink (fasting) blood sugar was fine. After the drink, they test your blood again at the 1 hour, 2 hour, and 3 hour mark. The blood sugar levels were too high the first two draws, but back to fine for the last draw.  It sounded like they were just barely too high, but I didn't get the numbers (see: screaming toddler). It didn't matter, though, failing two of the three blood draws equals a big, fat FAIL.

Now I'm waiting for the diabetes center to call me so I can take a class...or something...again the toddler distracted me with her urgent desire to "talk to doctor on the phone!" (she was very upset I went to the doctor without her that morning, so the fact that I was now TALKING to the doctor without her was just a complete backstab) so I didn't catch it all. Google/friends tell me that I will have to follow a special diet and test my blood sugars multiple times a day.  SO FUCKING AWESOME.

Not.

I know this is by far pretty much the least complicated of the myriad of complications you can have in pregnancy (as I well, well know) and tons of people fail and have to do all this, but it still bloody sucks.

Live Blogging the Three-Hour GD Test

Welcome to the amazing world of glucose tolerance testing for gestational diabetes! I've seen people live blog important events like the Oscars, and I figure this is at least as exciting. Right?!?

Yesterday, 8:30am: Call to make the appointment. Nurse says I can come as early as 7:30am. Readily agree. Receive instructions to not eat anything after midnight.

Today, 7am: Consider nurse's words carefully. Decide that by "as early as" she really meant "anytime after."

7:01am: Hit snooze button.

7:30am: Wake up. Shower, et al. Pack entertainment bag consisting of breastfeeding book (scintillating), laptop, and Kindle. Grab snacks for ride home since am positive will be moments from starving when this is done.

8:02am: Holy shit, traffic is insane. People actually go to work this early? Lots of people?

8:14am: Check in for bloodwork.

8:15am: Phlebotomist goes on break.

8:30am: Called back. Blood sugar drawn. Best stick ever. Barely felt at all. Tell blood guy; he promises to try to be here for each draw. Talk about hospital portrayals on TV. Consensus: Scrubs is best; House is worst. Wait for results. Looking for number under 126; mine is 93. Score!

8:35am: Retire to waiting room to...wait. Already hungry.  This is going to suck. Sorry, baby, for withholding nutrients. But really, at a hefty 3.5lbs when most babies are 2.5, maybe you can use the break.

8:36am: Baby kicks in protest at implication that she is fat. Better get used to it, kid. You live in a world where people think a size 10 is obese.

8:37am: Every channel appears to be having 24 hour Royal Wedding coverage. UGH.

8:42am: Booooooored. UGH again.

9:20am: A little jittery and light-headed. Consider trying to nap on the couch. The hard plastic couch with no cushions.  Debate which pieces of clothing I can remove to use as a pillow without being obscene.

9:35am: Second blood draw. Different person, but another good draw. No instant answers this time.

9:37am: Back in waiting room. Again ponder clothing removal for pillow usage. Eye couch wistfully.

10:11am:  OMG kill me now. Another hour and a half at least.  If I hear "Royal Wedding" on TV one more time I might fly to London and personally....well, I don't know what I'd do. Something. Something drastic.

10:20am: Sugar drink + empty stomach = weird gassy pukey feeling.

10:38am: Third draw is done.  Sucked. First she slipped out of the vein so had to stick me again. Then the vacuum blew (??) so she had to get a new collection tube.  Light-headedness compounding. So glad I have snacks in the car. GOOD THINKING, LARA! One more hour, one more draw.

11:15am: HUNGRY. RUMBLING. TUMMY. Gulping water to attempt stomach-fullness trickery.

11:37am: Where are they?? Why haven't they called me back?  Panicking. Will it invalidate the results if my blood isn't drawn at an hour exactly? AHHH.

11:38am: Phew. Called back. Same chick from last draw. The one that sucked. Grimacing; anticipating worst. Over! Not bad.

11:41am: Devour crackers and banana in car. So grateful I brought them. 

11:55am: OMG. Driving home. So lightheaded. Trying to concentrate on not puking in my car.  Make emergency stop at fast-food drive through.  Life. Saved. By. Fries. Mmmmm. Start feeling better immediately.

12:10pm: Arrive at work. Consider pleading "not feeling well" to go home, but decide to suck it up.

12:12pm: Regretting suck it up decision. Want to go home. However, this is every day.

1:18pm: Waiting for results.

1:50pm: PASSED! Whoo. She's just a giant child.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

The Belly: Week 28. And a half. More like week 29, really.

Enjoy the fact that I put effort into my outfit but barely brushed my hair today.  Well, I brushed it, I'm not a total heathen, but this is what happens when I don't flatiron it or blow dry it. Hay-like fluff. Gross.

Do I look HUGE? What about if I hold the camera in my other hand? Then do I look HUGE? (Or do I just look like I'm missing a finger?)

Do I look....95th percentile huge??

I ask because this child is pushing 3.5lbs already and measuring in (can you guess?) the 95th percentile. I was a big, but not enormous, 8 pounds. Chris was 6 weeks early and was just under 5 pounds.  It's not like I'm eating TERRIBLY (not the greatest, but definitely not 95th percentile hugeness bad) or have gained 40 pounds already (though I do fully expect to surpass that by the end). Where she is getting this from, I have no idea.

Oh, wait, yes I do. Have an idea, that is.

I failed the one-hour gestational diabetes test.

SOB.

The doctor mentioned two appointments ago (when she [the baby, not the doctor] was just a petite little thing merely in the 76th percentile) that it's something that was on her radar, but when the baby measured so large this time she said she wouldn't be surprised if I had it.  However, because all the baby's measurements are proportional, it could also just be that she's going to be giant.  Apparently, with GD, it's common that the baby's abdomen measures much larger than the rest of the body - but baby girl is perfectly sized...just, er, very large.

For full disclosure, some doctors' offices have their patients fast for 12 hours or give them a list of "don't eat" foods.  Mine didn't - my only instructions were to have a regular breakfast about an hour before I came in. I had Frosted Mini-Wheats. Obviously those are coated with a delicious sugary crunchy frosting. Whether that made a difference, I'm not sure.  I mentioned it to the doctor and she said it could go either way.   So we'll see.   I'm waiting on them to call me back to schedule the three-hour test.  I know you all are now on the absolute edge of your seat waiting to see how it goes. Never fear, loyal blog reader, I will keep you (that's the singular you, since there's just one of you) updated.