How I Do It: Baby-Led Weaning

Disclaimer: I shouldn't need to say this, because we all should support each other, but: This is the way *I've* chosen to do it. Parenting is full of choices; as long as those choices don't include playing with live grenades or eating crack cocaine, it's probably okay. Plenty of people make different choices than this, and that's okay. Your kid will be fine and thrive. Plenty of people make this same choice, and that's okay too. Our kids will also thrive and be fine.

The pics in this post aren't in any particular order; I'll note what she's eating when I can remember. 

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 Destroying a brussel sprout; around 9-10 months.

Strangely, everything I'm doing in parenting seems to be summed up in acronyms: CDing. BFing. ERFing. BWing. (That's cloth diapering, breastfeeding, extended rear facing, and baby-wearing). And one more big one: BLW.

Pear, around 6 months.

BLW is baby-led weaning: a new name for a very old concept. I promised a reader (Denean!) that I would do a post on this ages ago because she was interested in it, but by now her child is probably eating pizza and sushi and entering college so it doesn't matter. But maybe someone else out there in InternetLand is wondering about it. Probably not. But, you know, that's what blogs are for. Writing about things no one cares about!

Mac N Cheese made with whole cow's milk and whole cheese, mixed with tuna and peas.  

Around 10 months. 

I don't remember where I first heard the term "Baby-Led Weaning" (or BLW), but wherever it was, it struck a chord.  To put it extremely simply, BLW is skipping rice cereal and oatmeal and purees and going directly to finger foods when your baby is ready (usually around six months old).  There were a lot of reasons behind the philosophy that made sense to me. I wrote them out, along with some of the mechanics behind BLW, but the post got insanely long and boring and detailed so instead of including that information here, I'm just going to link to it:  Baby-Led Weaning: The Whys and the Hows

 Brussel sprouts, whole wheat pasta, chicken, and pepper slice around 9-10 months.

To summarize what's at that link: we started doing BLW because it made sense physiologically, and with a history of obesity in my family I wanted to do everything I could possibly do to to give her a good start (the early introduction of solids has been linked to obesity later in life). Add in the "open gut" that babies have and the fact that the AAP recommends delaying solids of any kind until six months or later, and I was sold (more info on all of this in the above link).  With BLW, you offer large chunks of table food starting at around six months of age - basically, whatever you're eating!

Peas, corn, and chicken around 7-8 months.

Carys actually started eating real foods around 5.5 months old, because she met all of the guidelines and had been sitting up on her own for a while.  Trust me - I started to get antsy when I saw friends feeding their babies rice cereal and posting adorable pictures of their kids making hilarious faces in reaction. But for children without other health issues, there is no reason to start before six months (or 5.5 in our case), and believe me...you want to keep those formula or breastmilk poops as long as possible!  We started with things like avacado and steamed carrots and peaches and turkey and moved onto apples and steak and sushi. Yes, seriously. Sushi.

Sushi! Around 11 months.

She's been eating table food since she first took her first bite of non-breastmilk food, and she has loved it. I've loved it! First, it's adorable watching them feed themselves. Second, once you see a baby doing baby-led weaning, you'll be shocked whenever you see babies eating purees after six months. It's understandable, because that's still considered the norm by far, but after doing BLW, you realize they are SO capable of eating real food and feeding themselves!  A few months after we started BLW, I was eager to make sure she got enough pears (TMI alert: their poop changes a lot and I wanted to give her a bit of, um, help!) so I pureed some up and tried to give it to her with a spoon. She looked at me like I was fucking crazy and took the spoon right out of my hand to feed herself. Needless to say, I have let her feed herself almost all the time from that point on.

We started with big chunks of avocado, steamed veggies, soft fruits, etc.

Around 7-8 months old (and ready for a nap!)

Once she got the hang of those, I'd also give her a spoon full of food (yogurt or avacodo, etc.) and let her feed herself with the spoon.

Steamed sweet potato and pureed pears, around 7 months old.

Now, at a year, she eats about two-thirds of her meals with a spoon or fork and the rest with her hands.

 Mixed veggies, spinach tortilla, fish sticks (homemade), around 11 months.

It has worked wonderfully for us, and she's a great eater (trust me, I know their eating habits at one don't translate into great eating habits at ten, but it's a start). She can handle any food we throw at her. The only things I try to avoid are super hot spices (but she can handle moderately or even fairly hot!) and super salty foods (since their bodies can't handle a lot of sodium). I do try to give her fresh, organic, "real" food whenever possible, but that is definitely not a requirement of BLW.  We eat out regularly!

Grilled cheese, around 1 year.

A rib she stole off my plate at a restaurant, around 9-10 months.

Again, this isn't necessarily a tenet of BLW, but I do try to refrain from giving her too much sugar.  She has treats on occasion, but they are just that - treats. She has her whole life to enjoy bad foods, so now, when she's too young to know or care, I try to only give her wholesome food. That's food that has nutritional value (so not a lot of white breads or mashed potatoes or other "filler" foods) and that is good for you (so no cupcakes). I'm not totally horrible - she has had ice cream, bits of cake, a bit of frosting, dinner rolls, etc. But I limit it and only give it to her rarely and in small amounts. Again, I know she'll have these things as she gets older, and I would never expect that she totally refrains. These things aren't BANNED. That can only backfire in the long run. But again, right now, when she doesn't know better, I don't give them to her often. Even for her first birthday, she had a "healthy" cake made with blueberries and bananas.  We do fruit for dessert quite often.

Watermelon, around 10 months.

I plan to teach her about foods that will help her grow strong and fuel her body and make her body feel good - there won't be "good" or "bad" foods, just foods that help her grow and foods that won't. Someone once told me if you wouldn't feed it to a plant (i.e. compost it), don't eat it! I don't live by that mantra, but it's a good thing to think about.  

Yes, she does get SOME treats. I'm not that mean! Ice cream around 13 months.

When we started, we did BLW for just lunch, since she was still nursing every 2-4 hours.  Around 8 months, we added dinner, and at around 10 months added breakfast (there are no hard and fast rules with this - it's just what seemed to work with our schedule). At the beginning, she would usually have two to three pieces of a veggie, a piece of meat, and a piece of fruit. I tried to hit some good fats, some good protein, and some good carbs, with most of the focus on the veggies. Avacado is something she got (and still gets) almost every day, since it is SO full of healthy fats that are so important for brain development!  I also tried to get a good variety of color - so orange carrots, green peas, red strawberries, yellow mango, etc. - the colors in fruits and vegetables come from various nutrients, so I tried to make sure she got a good mix.  She gets a sippy cup with water in it at each meal. If I'm not there, she gets a sippy cup with half whole milk and half breastmilk with each meal. Whether I'm there or not, the sippy cup with water is available to her all day long.

One of her regular early meals. 2-3 veggies, a fruit, and a protein. Pear to the left, 

then steamed baby zucchini spear, avacado, carrot, and ham. Around 6 months.

At 14 months, now that she gets more of her calories from food than breastmilk, a typical day might look something like this (there are also 2-4 nursing sessions sprinkled in here as well):

Breakfast: 

Whole-mik yogurt with fresh or frozen berries (I don't do store-bought flavored yogurt because sugar is usually the second or third ingredient)

AM snack: 

Ella's Kitchen Nibbler

Lunch:

Spinach quiche made with whole milk

Steamed carrot

Avacado wedge

PM snack:

Cheese and apple slices

[Sometimes she will get a puree pouch (these are great on the go, and they follow the BLW concept as long as you are letting them feed themselves - I look for ones that only have the fruit or veggie and lemon juice listed as the ingredients. However, they still have a TON of sugar in them, so this is a rare snack.)]

Dinner: 

Salmon fillet

Zucchini and squash sauteed with olive oil
Strawberries for dessert

Eggs, whole wheat pancakes (no syrup or butter) and blueberries. 14 months. And very excited.

Probably the most common question I get is, "Aren't you afraid she'll choke?" And yes, of course. Choking is dangerous! I don't even want to think of the worst case scenario. But since the child is controlling the food entering their mouth, and since babies have a VERY sensitive gag reflex, it's incredibly rare. Gagging, however, is very common - some kids even (eww!) throw up when they gag. It's very important to be familiar with the difference between the two. Parents mistaking gagging for choking and interfering when they shouldn't (and inadvertently making the situation worse) is one of the biggest difficulties with BLW.  In 14 months, Carys has gagged several times (usually when she tries to eat too quickly) but has NEVER choked. I've seen parents grab their kids and do a finger sweep when the kid was only lightly gagging. It's so important to let the child handle it on their own whenever possible. Obviously you don't want to ignore a dire situation, so education is key here, in order to ensure you know the difference.

Corn on the cob, 10ish months old.

BLW is all about letting the baby guide the food process. Some kids are ready to start at 5 months, while some are still picking at the food at 18 months. And even within that timeframe, babies may have phases where they eat a lot and phases where they eat almost nothing. It's normal!  For the first year, solid food is about learning and exploring, not about nutrition (they should still be getting the majority of their calories from breastmilk or formula). BLW helps babies discover and fine-tune their hunger cues and discover all sorts of new textures and flavors, and it's great for their manual dexterity. It's something that we've both enjoyed immensely, and I'm not going to lie - the look on people's faces when she downs three sushi rolls is pretty fantastic too!

Steamed veggies, around 9 months old. 

Small update with Emmeline:

We are also doing BLW with Emmeline. She's now 6.5 months old, but just isn't quite as interested or ready as Carys was, so we're still slowly introducing solids - a wedge of avocado here, a steamed carrot there, a slice of red paper here. I'm not in any hurry to get her on any sort of schedule with solids, so we're just playing it by ear and letting her experiment now and then. When she seems more ready, we'll step up the solids game a little more. 

RESOURCES: 

Links:

The Hows and the Whys of BLW

Adventures in Solid Food

Wikipedia

Rapley Weaning

Nourished Kitchen

Baby Led Weaning

Including Baby in the Family Table

Books:
Baby Led Weaning
Baby Led Weaning Cookbook
Baby Led Weaning, Step by Step (Note: I have not read this, only seen it recommended)
The Baby and Toddler Cookbook (BLW would suggest skipping the purees and using only the other recipes, or saving the purees for when they can spoon-feed themselves - or the purees could be great to put in pouches for on-the-go snacks, too)

Gear: 
Tomee Tipee Bibs (a favorite)
Baby Bjorn Bibs (another fave)
iPlay Green Sprouts sleeved Bibs (a favorite - if the sleeved bib isn't listed, contact the company and they'll send you pricing and pattern info - it just means that the store that the site feeds from is out of stock, not that the company is out of stock - but for real, this bib is A MUST, it makes clean up a huge snap!!!)
^^^^You'll note with all these bibs that the common factor is the pocket at the bottom - that is HUGE in making clean-up easy! The bigger and more, um, stick-outy the pocket, the better!
Boon Cutlery (all soft for when they are first learning)
Gerber Cutlery (with metal, like mom and dad!)
Disposable Placemats (for dining out)
Reusable Placemat (for home or dining out)

Letters to Carrots : Month Fourteen

August 7 - September 7, 2012

Dear Carys,

I LOVE YOU.

Seriously, kid. I LOVE YOU.  My heart swells when I look at you and see this amazing little person you've become.  You are just the happiest, silliest, most loving, goofiest, smartest, cutest child ever (says every mother about their child) (but I MEAN it! Even more! [Again: just like every other mother ever.]).

You are so solidly a little girl, it's ridiculous. There is very little trace of the baby from just a few months ago; I have to hunt for it in fleeting moments and movements. Your dad just got back today from being out of town for a week and said he's sure you three inches taller.

These letters get harder and harder to write, because all I want to write about is how adorable you are and how fun you are and how (usually) happy you are and that you're a daredevil and you love people and animals and you're getting so big. Last month was hard, but all I can say about that is that his month was much better, and I hope you never again grow molars.

Let's run down your list of adorable-ness, shall we?

If I say, "Let's change your diaper!" you will walk to your room, pick out your own diaper, lay it out, and then lay down on top of it.

You know the signs for "eat," "up," "more," "all done," "milk," and "please." Which is every single sign I've taught you! I need to pull out the book and add some more to our repertoire. You sign "more" in conjunction with "please" all the time.  More please! More please! Please more! When you first signed "more," you pointed with one index finger to the palm of your other hand (a common "baby" version). A couple weeks ago, if I repeated "More?" and signed the right way, you'd screw up your little face in concentration, stare at your fingers, and slowly and deliberately do it the right way, and now you do it the right way always. I love signing with you, and I love when people are so amazed to see you communicate so clearly. 

Sweet girl brought me a "flower."

If I ask you if you want to eat, you'll go to the kitchen and try to climb in your high chair. If you're hungry, you'll sign "eat" and get a bib out and try to put it on.  You'll also open the pantry door and help yourself to one of your fruit/veggie pouches, which you recently learned to open.

You regularly walk a half mile (about eight short ends of blocks) during our walks. You LOVE walking. You will try to put the harness on Riley or bring me his leash when you want to go on walks. If I let you out the front door, you're off and down the block before I can blink. I still love to take walks with my mom; I hope you and I continue that tradition and walk together for a long time.

 

If you see anyone writing with any writing utensil, you will run up to them, take it out of their hands, and try to "write" on the page yourself.  You're getting pretty good at it and know which end is the right end with which to write. Needless to say, you've already covered a good number of surfaces with your scrawling.

You recently dropped your second nap, and now instead of two two-hour naps, you take one three-hour nap.  I want that extra hour back!  That was my showering hour!  Now I have to sacrifice precious, um, Facebook time to shower (for shame).

You also will let me lay you down wide awake and will put yourself to sleep. Like sleeping through the night, it happened on your terms and when you were ready and with no crying - and even knowing that, I'm still a little sad about it, because I miss rocking with you while the weight of you is pressed against my chest. In fact, writing this makes me want to go pick you up from your crib just to have you fall back asleep against me with the top of your head nuzzled into my neck and your sweet-smelling baby hair tickling my nose. Best feeling pretty much ever. EVER I TELL YOU.

You learned to spin around in circles and laugh deliriously at the dizziness.  Need I say how adorable that is?

You could eat an entire order of edamame yourself, and three or four sushi rolls. Including raw fish! That's my girl.  (Your other favorite right now? Grapes. And tomatoes, which you eat like apples. Weirdo.)

The dog is your very best friend in the world. You love Riley so much, and often I'll find you sitting next to him, laying on him, and you give him hugs all day long.

I took you to the humane society to see the animals, and you

loved peeking through the cracks at all of the different dogs.

In addition to Riley, you love goats, and are pretty sure they are dogs. We pick up the CSA share each week, and you love chasing around the animals at the farm. When you see the goats, you say "Doggie! Doggie! Doggie!"

You still are such a huge people person. In your mind, everyone is your best friend. Stranger danger doesn't exist in your mind. There's a bright, cheerful "hi!" and toothy grin for everyone that crosses your path. Sometimes you'll act shy for a moment and hide behind my legs or bury your head in my shoulder, but within seconds you'll be peeking out and smiling at them. You are so interested in everyone and everything. You watch our neighbors out the window like a creeper. If we go out to eat and set you down for a moment, you'll walk up to each table to chat. You really like to gift people some object, usually one that you took from them in the first place, but it's the thought that counts, right?

This isn't an accomplishment of yours, but it is one of mine: we're still breastfeeding! We have cut it back quite a bit during the day and, in the last few days, at night, but we still nurse a few times a day. The first time you read this letter you'll probably be disgusted and pretend you never read this paragraph, but one day, you'll realize how damn awesome it is. Probably when you have a kid of your own. It's amazing how much suddenly makes sense then. (I love you, mom!)

We went to the zoo with your dad for the first time (though you've been many times before with me), and you loved it even more than usual. You loved the animals and you loved the people but most of all, you loved being with your dad. And he loved experiencing it with you! We took you on both the train and the Skyfari and you loved both of those too. There was nothing beneath your feet during the Skyfari and we were three or four stories up, and you loved swinging your feet and looking down and yes, even trying to slip out of our arms to jump off.  I have no doubt you'll be skydiving by your fifth birthday.

I'm pretty sure I've talked about your daredevil nature in every single letter, so I'll just say: yep.

You are so YOU, Carys. You are such an fun, happy, independent, creative, feisty, unique little girl. You have all these amazing traits and habits and ticks that make you who you are, and I want to remember every detail about each one (the way you flap your arms and sigh...the way you have started saying "oooh!" when you find my bellybutton, the tilt of your head when you are being silly....). You are going through a rough age right now, what with dropping a nap, getting molars, and trying to hard to communicate to someone who is just a total idiot and cannot always understand what you're so obviously saying (that someone is me), but you're pushing through with aplomb.  I've only wanted to sell you to the Gypsies once!  And even then I was mostly joking. I cannot express how much I adore hanging out with you and spending time with you. We are so blessed to have such an easy kid. If we're ever lucky enough to give you brothers and sisters and they're all as easy as you are....I might be trying to convince your dad for an even dozen kids.

Love you beyond measure, little one.

Love,
Mama

Letters to Carrots: Month Thirteen

July 7 - August 7, 2012

Dear Carys,

When will these monthly letters stop? I have no idea. Month twelve would have probably been a good, solid stopping place, but I can't bring myself to skip them. It gives me time to reflect on how you've grown and changed, and time to look back at pictures of you and marvel at what happens in just thirty days.

You have had quite the, um, bratty month. There, I said it. I know it's not just you - it's the age. You can think and reason now. You understand that just because I say no to things doesn't mean that they are completely unavailable to you, like you thought before - it's actually that I'm choosing to ruin your life by not letting you play with those knives. So you protest the only way you know how - by throwing a fit. Luckily, this is still relatively rare, and luckily you're still easily distracted, and luckily you're figuring out quickly that throwing a fit does not get you what you want, so you're starting to ease up on them a bit. You test everything - you look me in the eyes when I tell you no and go back to doing whatever it was you weren't supposed to be doing, seeing if I'm serious.  And I always am. And so you try again, to see if I'm STILL serious. So the name of the game right now is consistency and boundaries. Also, you're getting your one-year molars in, and, well, that doesn't help your sparkling personality at all. A preview of the "terrible twos" I'm sure. Frankly, you've been SO good up to this point that this dose of normalcy is a little startling.  Thank god these fits are just a flash in the pan and you're quickly back to your delightful and silly little self - and also thank god that you've only done these at home so far and not in the aisle at Target!

This is a "short" letter because there aren't a lot of new milestones to report this month (I know, I know, my short letters are still way too long). You're just perfecting what you already know and do.  You continue to just love on anything and everything, especially fuzzy, soft things and animals. You wrap your arms around the object (often Riley) and lay your head down on it and just love it.  You try to copy me when I march and you do "fast feet." You love to go into things: cabinets, suitcases, drawers...

You strung two signs together and asked for "more milk."  Whenever you want something, you point to it and sign "more." At your Nana's house the other day, you wanted to go outside, so you took her keys off the table, walked to the door, and tried to use the keys to open it.

You climbed from the chair to the entertainment center. 

You are still a crazycakes adventurer who loves to climb.

 You were pretty pleased with yourself for figuring out you could climb onto your dresser from the rocking chair. Needless to say, the rocking chair has been moved.

You are still a messmaker.

You have a little pedal-less push trike that you LOVE to push around the house while saying "vroom, vroom." You also love to balance things on the seat and push it around backwards, and got mad at me when I tied a basket onto the seat to turn it into a cart. You constantly bring me my sunglasses and put them on my face.  You still love to read.

This is probably my favorite picture of you of all time.

You can walk a long time - we're talking entire blocks (like...six of them)!  I don't know what's normal for a one-year-old, but it seems like a lot. And you love walking and saying "hi" to everyone and every animal you meet. I never thought I'd be that mom, but I sometimes kind of a little bit feel like punching people who don't say "hi" back.  You're so happy. You just want to love everyone and have everyone love you back.

You love to dress yourself and will often put on three hats and a pair of shorts over your arms and a towel draped around your shoulders, or something to that effect.

Wearning my bikini bottoms like a little bandoleer. You left them like this ALL day. 

It started with the skirt and lei, then you added two hats.

You collect things and walk them around the house. Today it was the adaptor to one of your bottles, and you wore it around your wrist like a bracelet all day. It's been balloons, cooler bags, diapers, shirts, and god knows what else in the past.

Your favorite food right now? Popsicles.  Since I'm trying to limit the amount of sugar you get, I make them by mixing fruit purees and whole-fat yogurt and pouring it into a mold. When you want one, you'll open the freezer, get one out, and bring it to me.

You are the world's cleanest eater. NOT. But that's okay, because watching you eat is pretty damn adorable.

You still wish you were a big kid. You don't quite understand why the older kids want nothing to do with you and your slow little toddler legs. But you try SO hard.

 

You still LOVE to take baths and you still love water. You would happily splash around in the tub all day. In fact, you often try to climb in and start the water yourself.

While up until recently your favorite words were "doggie" and "daddy," this month your favorite is  "mum." I love that you say it in a slight British accent! You've said "momma" for quite a while now, but this month it's like your number one favorite word ever. "Mum. Momma. Mommy. Mum. Mum. Mum. Mommy. Momma. Mum." Over and over and constantly. It totally melts my heart and hasn't reach the irritating stage...yet. I'm sure that's coming.

You discovered a wig that I had from Halloween and wanted to wear it. I caught you mid-blink. You look like an 80's rocker coming off of a long crazy night.

Oh - you're also exploring hitting and biting, which is just loads of fun. NOT. We're working on "soft touches" and kissing without biting. The biting thing, though...I think that might be our fault. We are constantly play biting your delightful baby rolls. How are you to know it's not okay to do the same to us?

We went to dad's work to visit him and eat lunch. We went to Jazz on the Green (three times!) and Shakespeare on the Green and had art night at Grandma's and lots of playdates and lots of walks.

We did have one scare that I hate to even put down on paper, but...I was putting you in your carseat and you were playing with my keys. You must have hit the remote start button, because the car started. I took the keys from you, dropped them over the seat onto the front driver's side seat, and finished getting you in your seat. I shut your door, and when I went to open the front door...it was locked. HEART ATTACK.  Your dad didn't have a spare set, so I called 911 (I wasn't sure how long a locksmith would take, and, you know, you were LOCKED IN A CAR). Luckily, the car was running and you were safely secured in your carseat, so I wasn't TOO worried, but I was still freaking out. Turns out they just call a locksmith anyway, so I probably could have just done that to start with. I waited...and waited...and waited...and suddenly after fifteen minutes (!!!!!) the car shut off. Apparently if you don't put the key in, the remote start cancels. So you were still strapped in your car seat, but now in an un-air-conditioned car. I put a blanket over the window to keep the sun off you (we have a sunshade on the inside, but I wanted double protection). The cop finally showed up, but we were still waiting on the locksmith. He took another ten or fifteen minutes to arrive - and by this point you were fed up and screaming at me. I played Elmo videos for you through the window, which helped keep you calm.  The locksmith guy, when he did arrive, was totally incompetent and took ANOTHER ten or fifteen minutes to get the door unlocked. I kept telling him to just break a window, but he swore he could do it. Finally, I heard the sweet clicking sound that meant you were free and ran to get you out. I was a mess, you were a mess, and now I always make sure to have the front door opened before I shut your door...just in case. My heart breaks for you just looking at these pictures. But you were fine once you nurse a bit and drank some water.

You're in full-on toddler mode and it's about time for me to admit that my baby is no longer a baby, but I'll continue to be in denial about that for the next 18 or so years, I think.

I love you so much, kiddo. So very much.

Love,
Mama